


and that, my love–

by Cumberbatch Critter (ivelostmyspectacles)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Game Spoilers, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-27 20:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10816023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivelostmyspectacles/pseuds/Cumberbatch%20Critter
Summary: “You wake up every morning to fight the same demons that left you so tired the night before, and that, my love, is bravery.”He was good at distancing himself. He was good at pretending he was unaffected by anything. In truth, he was affected by everything and he felt it too deeply.[SPOILERS]





	and that, my love–

_“You wake up every morning to fight the same demons_  
_that left you so tired the night before,_  
_and that, my love, is bravery.”_

 

 

 _How could this happen? How could this happen?_ There was nothing else going through his head. The same thought, the same last few words Akechi had said to them, hearing him scream obscenities and tortured thoughts at them, and then the gunshot… the gunshot wouldn’t leave his mind, either.

He felt sick. He was good at distancing himself. He was good at pretending he was unaffected by anything. In truth, he was affected by everything and he felt it too deeply. He wanted what was best for everyone. He would step in every time. He wanted to protect everyone. He wanted to save everyone. Just like what had happened that gotten him here in the first place, he always would.

Not being able to save Akechi was… it was…

“We have our route to the Treasure secured,” he mumbled. He felt numb. “Everyone go home and get some rest.”

Their responses matched the way their faces looked; they looked the way that Akira felt, too. The walk home seemed too long. He wanted to sit down and rest. He might just do that, on the way home. Maybe he would sit down and not get back up.

“Akira.” Yusuke came to a stop next to him. “Would you mind if I accompany you to Leblanc?”

If it was possible, his heart sank even more. “Yusuke…”

“I would prefer to have the company,” Yusuke said softly. “Returning to the dorms… I would rather infringe upon your hospitality. If you don’t mind…” and his voice was so quiet that Akira couldn’t help but fold to his demands.

If he was being honest, he would say he wanted the company, too. He would just never ask.

They walked back to Leblanc in silence. If they walked a little too closely together, Akira didn’t complain. On more than one occasion, Yusuke’s knuckles brushed his and he was struck with the urge to take his hand and bury his face into his chest to hide the emotion trying to show. He didn’t. They were in public.

Sojiro wanted to ask, Akira could tell, when they walked back into the cafe. But he didn’t, just said that he would brew some coffee and that he would be out of their hair afterwards. He told Yusuke to stay as long as he needed. Akira could still see the question, almost beseeching, in his guardian’s eyes, wanting to know what had happened, but he still continued to not ask, and Akira was infinitely grateful. It was a conversation he would have to have with him, now that he knew. Akechi had come here often, after all…

Akira placed his bag on the table. Morgana had stayed downstairs. He peeled his jacket off and dropped it into a pile on the bed. Then he sank on the mattress, and tried not to sigh, and ultimately failed. His shoulders slumped, he leaned forward to put his head in his hands. He had to afford himself the vulnerability. It hurt too bad.

His companion had dogged him to his bedroom, but his footsteps had stopped at the stairs. Now they continued, slowly, crossing the room and then stopping again; the mattress creaked as Yusuke sat next to him.

“… How did this happen?” he murmured, and Akira wished he knew. _God_ , he wished he knew.

He took a deep breath. He didn’t take his head out of his hands. He had to close his eyes, though. “I don’t know.” He wasn’t certain he would ever have an answer, either. It would probably haunt him for every day of the rest of his life. That… scared him.

Oh _God_ , Akechi.

He sucked in a sharp breath and raised his head, looking to Yusuke. He wasn’t looking at him, gazing at the floor instead with that little crinkle between his eyebrows. He was clutching at his arm, shoulders slumped in a position to match Akira’s. It was the closest that he got to looking like hell. Akira _felt_ like hell. He wondered if he looked as composed as Yusuke did. Probably not. Not today.

Yusuke noticed him looking, and turned his head slightly to meet his gaze. “Akira…” He straightened up, and surprised Akira by slipping his arm around his shoulders and pulling him close.

Make that definitely didn’t look composed.

He swallowed back the tears threatening him and went, resting his head against Yusuke’s shoulder. He felt rather than heard Yusuke breathe in deeply, and then Yusuke tilted his head to rest against Akira’s.

He didn’t cry, although he came dangerously close to it. He kept his eyes closed and his breathing steady, and he fumbled for Yusuke’s hand to hold in his lap while he struggled to keep it together. He knew he didn’t have to. Not with Yusuke. But it was the standard he held himself to, not only for their Phantom Thieves but his own sake as well. He couldn’t afford to fall apart. Not yet, not _yet_.

So he clutched at Yusuke’s hand and the fraying remainders of his strength, and let the warmth next to his lull him into a state of… not quite comfort, but… _coping_. Yusuke helped him to cope. Yusuke helped to keep him on his feet when he wanted to fall.

He didn’t know how long they had sat there, or how much longer they planned to. It seemed like a long time had passed, and none at all, either. But Yusuke’s arm around him was grounding, and the silence of the attic was calming. Akira pressed a little closer.

They would fight another day.

It was painful as hell, but just like this, he knew he’d be able to see it through to the end.

**Author's Note:**

> why didn't we get any sort of comfort after Akechi come on. my Akira liked him. a lot. because I liked him a lot. until we found out, you know. but even then the team was still trying to reason with him so no matter what happened, there should have been some h/c going on there <_<''
> 
> also I don't know who that quote is by if you know please tell me
> 
> I do not own _Persona 5_. Thanks for the reads!


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